Father’s Day isn’t
nearly as big as Mother’s day. The florist doesn’t do as much business.
Church attendance isn’t as high. Telephone company’s statistics show
that Father’s Day ranks a distant third behind Mother’s Day and Christmas.
But they noted that Father’s Day calls are usually longer. That’s because
the majority of calls are collect!
Just
like Rodney Dangerfield, dads don’t get no respect! And nowhere is this
more truer than in the movies & on TV. The media portrayals of fathers
are often so negative that we forget to pay tribute to the many good
ones.
Today
I’d like to pay tribute to fathers by studying the father of the prodigal
son. Here was a father who did a lot of things right. Although no father
is perfect, your dad probably exhibited some of the same qualities as
this father in Jesus’ parable. These are the characteristics that you
should be thanking your father for today. And, fathers, these are the
qualities that you should be developing in your life.
First,
notice that the Prodigal son’s father provided for the basic needs of
his family--v. 11-12(a). The reason the son could make such a request
is because the father worked hard to ensure that the needs of his family
were met, and that’s what fathers are supposed to do. God ordained that
one of the roles of a father is to provide food, shelter, and clothing
for his family. God even has some harsh words for a man who doesn’t
provide for the basic needs of his family. God says, “If anyone does
not provide for his relatives, and especially for his immediate family,
he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.” (1
Timothy 5:8)
As
soon as a baby is born, a father immediately begin to feel the awesome
responsibility he now has. It’s a sobering thought to look at a tiny
infant and realize this child’s future depends largely upon you. Not
only is it sobering to think about trying to raise the child to know
the difference between right & wrong, but it’s also sobering to think
about what it’s going to take financially to raise that child. Children
are fun, but they’re very costly!
Each
year the U.S. Department of Agriculture estimates how much it costs
to raise a child. The most recent study concluded that parents spend
$11,972 a year on a child during the first 2 years of his/her life.
But contrary to what the parents of newborns might think, the first
years of a child’s life aren’t the costliest. You teenagers cost your
parents $13,253 per year while you are in high school.
Then
if you go to college, you will cost your parents an additional 10-20,000
dollars per year just to get a bachelor’s degree. Adding up the figures,
the total cost of raising a child from cradle to college graduation
is close to $300,000. Think of what all you could do with all that money!
Have
you ever expressed appreciation to your dad for providing your basic
needs? Maybe you’ve complained that your dad didn’t make enough money,
or he had to travel, or you had to move a lot, or he was on call and
family activities were interrupted. Please realize that every occupation
has its drawbacks. Chances are your dad was doing his best to see to
it that your needs were provided because he cares about you.
I
had a great relationship with my dad, but I can’t remember him ever
verbally saying “I love you” while I was growing up. But, I never doubted
that he did. Love was one of those things some men of his generation
had a hard time verbally expressing.
But
he demonstrated his love in a number of very tangible ways, not the
least of which was the fact that he got up at 5:00 a.m. every morning
and went to work because he loved his children. And never once in my
life did he ever deny me anything. When I wanted a car, he bought me
a 65 Mustang. When I wanted a bigger, more powerful car, he bought me
a 66 GTO.
He
didn’t do that because he couldn’t say no. He did it because it was
his way of saying, “I love you!” Of course I think it’s healthy to verbalize
love for a child, but it’s also important to demonstrate it by providing
for them. If you had a dad who did that for you, be thankful.
Secondly,
the Prodigal son’s father was generous by providing beyond the basic
needs--v. 12(b). What do you think your dad would say if you walked
up to him and said, “Dad, I’ve been thinking about money. And I’ve come
to the conclusion that when you die, I’ll inherit about $50,000. But,
I can’t wait that long, so I want it now!” Probably he would say you
have lost your cotton-picking mind.
Even
though this is a parable, the Jews would have understood the concept
Jesus was teaching. According to God’s law, a father was to provide
an inheritance for his children. God said that a father was to, “Acknowledge
the first born by giving him a double portion of all that he had.” (Deuteronomy
21:17) Therefore, the younger son knew that he was entitled to a
third of his father’s estate. Now the father could give his children
their portion of the estate before his death if he chose to do so. But
the children had no right to ask for it if their father was still alive.
So for the father to give the younger son his portion of the inheritance
upon his request was extremely generous on the part of the father.
Your
father probably also went beyond providing for your basic needs. There
are many child-related expenses that are not essentials. For example,
what about the cost of all the chips and sodas he provides to your friends
who always seem to be hanging around your house? How about the money
it took to take care of your pet? Or the endless supply of batteries
for all your electronic games! Or about all the money he spent replacing
your student ID that you somehow always manage to lose. Did he send
you to a private school, or pay for piano, or karate, or dance lessons?
Those things cost a lot of money, in case you didn’t know.
Then
there’s the added insurance premium when you finally got your drivers
license. And don’t forget about the $500 deductible he had to pay every
time you wrecked the mini van. It all adds up.
A
lot of dads are very generous, not just with their money, but also with
their time. We preachers like to beat up on dads for neglecting to spend
quality & quantity time with their kids. But the truth is most good
dads really sacrifice their time in order to spend time with their kids.
Perhaps
your father patiently spent time with you teaching you how to fish or
how to operate the computer. Perhaps he was your biggest fan while you
played soccer or baseball. Perhaps he clapped and cheered the loudest
at your dance recitals. If you had a dad who was generous with his time
and/or his treasures, find a way to express thanks to him for what he
did, and for always being there.
Thirdly,
the Prodigal son’s father gave his son space--v. 13. This father released
his son when it was time to do so. I used to think this father was way
too permissive. I used to think he should have said, “No way! You’re
staying home.” But a good Jewish father knew that there comes a time
when you have to let your children go. The first 9 chapters of Proverbs
is about a man giving instructions to his son. He warns his son about
the dangers that awaited him in the real world.
But
after he warns his son, we don’t read of the father walking a few steps
behind the son to see if he could make it on his own. This implies to
me that he lets his son go. Solomon, the wisiest man who ever lived,
knew that a good father is one who gives his children room to make their
own choices, even if they chose poorly.
When
I graduated high school, I was ready to move out, and my parents were
ready for me to move out. So when I told them I wanted to leave, they
quickly gave me all my bedroom furniture and $100 for the first month’s
rent. But when I couldn’t make it on my own, they were just as quick
to let me move back home, but things were never the same. In fact, 2
yrs. later, I went to Daytona Beach on spring break. And when I came
home, my parents had moved to another house, and they didn’t even tell
me they were planning on moving. I don’t know if they purposely forgot
to tell me, or it was their way of preparing me to leave the nest. The
truth of the matter is I was not home enough for them to tell me what
they were planning on doing.
I want you teenagers to know that God has placed within your father
a healthy need to want to protect you. He may come across as trying
to be controlling, but in reality, it is his way of showing you that
he loves you. I read a story where the pastor used a recent event that
had happened in the town as an illustration to try to explain the concept
of salvation. He told about a local teenage girl who tried to break
up with her boyfriend but instead the boyfriend took her hostage at
gun-point.
Her father begged the young man to release his daughter. He even offered
to give himself up as the hostage. The pastor pointed out that that’s
what God did for us when he gave his only son, Jesus Christ, to die
in our place.
At the end of the sermon, before the pastor gave the alter call, he
said, “I want to add that I have a daughter. If any of you young men
here intend to date her, please that know I’m not God. If you harm my
daughter in any way I will not bargain with you, nor will I show you
any mercy. Your father may have brought you into the world, but I will
take you out of the world!” It appears that pastors are not as spiritual
as the pretend to be. But you already knew that!
You kids may not realize how hard it was for your dad that first day
he sent you off to school. Or how hard is was for him to watch you ride
your bike to the store for the first time. Or how lonely he was the
first time you stayed overnight at a friend’s house. Or how he missed
you so much those weeks you were at summer camp. And the hardest part
is when he watches you get in the car to go to college, or to head off
to another city as you begin your adult life. You have no idea about
how difficult it is for us fathers to let you go.
But despite how much it hurts us, we know we have to let you go. Scripture
clearly teaches that there is a day coming when “A man shall leave his
father and his mother!” (Genesis
3:24) So to prepare our kids to leave, we have to learn how to let
them go.
As hard as it is to believe, you don’t show care by hanging on to them
as long as you can. Rather, you show you care for them by letting go
when they are old enough to leave. The ironic thing is that if you will
train them to leave, you will discover that they will want to be more
a part of your life after they leave home. Then when they come down
the driveway to see you, or they call you on the phone, you will know
the only reason they are doing so is because they want to see you or
talk to you, and not because they feel guilty for not doing so more
often.
Fourthly, the Prodigal son’s father was willing to forgive and move
on--v. 14-20. This father could have easily held a grudge. He could
have yelled, “I told you what sin would do, but you wouldn’t listen.
You’ve wasted my money and now you have the nerve to come back here
to mooch off of us? Do you know what you’ve done to your mother? She’s
not been the same since you left! You’ve put her through many sleepless
nights! Do you realize what an embarrassment you have been to all my
friends? I have had to explain your behavior to dozens of people. You’ve
made me feel like a failure. Well, you’ve made your bed, now lie in
it.”
That’s the lecture this dad could have given his son. And it was all
true. But even though there had to be a great deal of disappointment,
hurt, and anger built up in this father, he didn’t respond that way.
This father loved his son so much he forgave him and restored the broken
relationship. Jesus tells us that he gave his son a fancy new set of
clothes, a ring, and the hottest shoes to wear. He then fed him filet
mignon steaks. And he put on a big party to celebrate his son’s greatest
defining moment in life--vv. 21-24.
In 1979, I went 6 months where I spent all my money drinking Wild Turkey
whiskey and snorting cocaine. Needless to say, I never sent any money
home to pay for my bills. But instead of letting my credit go bad, my
dad covered all my expenses. Then one day my money was gone, and I needed
some help. I knew that what I had done was wrong, so hated to call home
and ask for money.
My dad wasn’t happy with what I had done, but he didn’t explode either.
Instead, he sent me some money, and calmly told me to try to be more
responsible. I couldn’t get over how patient he was with me. And he
was that way with me all of my life.
He bailed me out of jail. He paid for the repairs when I tore up my
cars. He never once turned his back on me, no matter what I did. Instead,
he always made sure I knew that I could come home any time I needed
to. My father showed me unconditional love. I believe it was partly
because of my father showing me unconditional love, that made it easy
for me to accept God’s unconditional love for me.
Some of you here have also been forgiven a lot by your dad. You went
off to college and instead of getting an education, you wasted his money
partying. Or you have violated your father’s values by living an immoral
lifestyle that is contrary to the lifestyle he taught and modeled for
you. Some of you right now are embarrassing your father by the clothes
you wear. Or perhaps you recently got into an arguement with him and
you said some rather unpleasant words to him in the heat of the moment.
More than likely, there’s not a one of you who hasn’t done something
that you truly are sorry for. More than likely, there’s not a one of
you who hasn’t done something that you wish you could undo. But if your
dad hung in there with you, and continued to love you regardless of
what you did, you need to thank him today.
A father was tucking his six-year-old son in for the night. The son
asked his father, “Daddy when do you love me the most? When I’ve been
fighting with my sister, or when I’ve been real really nice to her?”
The father thought for a moment and said, “Both times!” The son said,
“Why?”
The father replied, “Because your my best buddy.” The boy knew his father
loved him no matter what. Maybe you’ve forgotten that your dad kept
loving you no matter what you did or said.
Let me suggest some ways you can show appreciation to your father. Maybe
you’re already doing it by attending church with him today. If you gave
him a hard time about coming here today, go to him and apologize for
doing so. Let him know that you’re glad he cares about your eternal
destiny.
If you’re a teenager, spend some time with him whenever you can. If
he says, “I’ve got to ride across town, do want to go along?” go, even
though it’s easier just to sit and watch television. If you’re older
call him on the phone and ask him how he’s doing.
I love it when my son calls me just to talk. Sometimes it’s to ask for
advice or money. Or sometimes it’s just to tell me what he heard on
the radio that got him thinking. It makes me feel good to realize he’s
thinking of me and he still cares about me.
Another way you can show love is by making an effort to get along with
your brothers & sisters. Give your dad the gift of loving your brother/sister,
at least for this one day. The elder son almost ruined the celebration
by getting mad at his brother--vv. 25-32.
I want to close by saying that the story of the prodigal son is a picture
of our heavenly Father’s love for us. Our heavenly father has provided
for our every need. He tells us not to worry about needing clothes to
wear, or food to eat, or a place to sleep. For if he provides these
things for the birds and flowers, won’t he provide them for the ones
he showed his greatest love towards? Our heavenly Father didn’t send
his only son to die to save the birds or the flowers. He sent Jesus
to die so through his death you can be saved from the penalty of your
sins, and set free from sin’s power.
In order for God to do that, he had to give us more than we deserve.
We deserve to spend the rest of eternity in hell for the sins we commit.
But because God is gracious, he has made a way to be saved by allowing
Jesus Christ to die on the cross.
But please understand that God didn’t make us robots. He doesn’t force
his love on anyone. He has given us the freedom to love him or reject
him. If you love him, and receive his gift of salvation through the
death & resurrection of Jesus Christ, he will not only forgive your
sins but he will completely forgot all them. And he will call you his
son or daughter.
However, if you reject the death & resurrection of Jesus Christ as the
only means of salvation, you will one day face God as the righteous
judge who has no choice but to send you away from his presence for the
rest of eternity. But please realize that even that sentence is based
on your choice. For if you don’t want anything to do with God’s son
now, he won’t impose his presence on you after you die.
The greatest way you can express thanks to your earthly father, if your
father is a Christian, is by following in his footsteps and honoring
his God. Can you look you father in the eyes and honestly say that you
have made Jesus Christ the lord of your life, and know that you’re going
to be with him in heaven for all eternity? If not, then way not go ahead
and give your life to Jesus Christ as your gift to your earthly father,
and most importantly, as your gift to your heavenly father.
Let’s
pray
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